Epiphany School’s new Middle School Placement Coordinator takes the stress out of the application process.

Here are some tips for navigating the process and finding the right schools for your child. 

Thinking about the transition to middle school can be daunting, especially since the application process for independent schools begins just as your child is settling into fifth grade. “It feels high stakes. A lot of well-known schools are pretty competitive,” says Alexis Ortega, Epiphany School’s middle school placement coordinator. “But it’s important for families to remember that there is no one school that is great for every student, and there are a lot of schools that could be great for your student.”  

At Epiphany School, we view the middle school placement process as a learning opportunity for our students. By thoughtfully and intentionally equipping students with the academic and social-emotional skills to transition to their next schools, we are also educating and preparing them for the many transitions they will face throughout life. 

Epiphany School is the only Seattle-area independent elementary school with a dedicated middle school placement coordinator. Alexis Ortega, who has over ten years of experience working in the admissions department at independent schools, guides students and families through every step of the middle school application process, advising on right-fit options, interview and essay-writing best practices, and what to look for when touring schools.  

We asked Alexis, as well as upper elementary division head Allisen Haworth and fifth-grade teacher Anthony McGrann, for some tips on navigating the middle school application process with confidence, calm, and the best possible outcome.  

Keep it personal.

Basing your choice on your family’s values and educational priorities instead of rankings or reputation gives your child the best chance to thrive in middle school. And “don’t just zero in on one school in particular,” suggests Alexis. “Sometimes there just isn’t space for everybody who is qualified.” She advises families to apply to three to five schools.  

Stay in the present.

Parents may think of their middle school choice as a way to get a jump on high school admission. But fifth-grade teacher Anthony McGrann says that’s not the best strategy.

“I recommend thinking of the middle school choice as a three-year commitment. Parents should be thinking about what is going to be a good fit for their child now.”  

Be transparent about your child’s needs.

To find your child’s best fit, consider their strengths and interests, as well as their special needs. Parents should not think of students’ special needs or accommodation requirements as an admissions risk, and they should be open about them in their application.

“You want to know that a school is committed to helping your child succeed; that they’ve got what it takes to support them,” says Alexis.   

Tour intel.

When visiting a school, pay attention to its culture and how well the school’s values fit your own. “Look at the teaching style, what is the classroom experience like, what does the school have to offer outside of the classroom,” suggests Alexis. Don’t discount the importance of how a school makes you and your child feel when you are visiting. “Really, academic and personal success has a lot to do with whether they are in a place where they can shine and feel comfortable,” says Allisen. 

Feel free to follow up.

“It doesn’t hurt for families to call up a prospective school and say, ‘I have some questions,’ when they get to the point where they’re serious about applying to that school,” says Allisen. 

Let your child shine.

“It’s important for your child’s voice to really come through in the admissions essay, and for them to think about how they want to present themselves on visit days,” says Alexis. You can prepare your child for school visits by helping them think about what questions they want to ask and what they want to learn from the visit. For the application essay, you might let them write something silly just to get started, then see if there are any ideas in that throw-away draft that are worth expanding.  

Prep without stress.

Students may have to take a standardized admission test, and it helps if they’re prepared. At Epiphany, all fifth graders take practice tests and learn some test-taking strategies. But Anthony emphasizes that test prep should never be high-pressure. Instead, it should make kids more comfortable with testing. “Part of my job is trying to keep that anxiety down and making sure that the students have a normal fifth-grade year, and that they’re focused on their learning and not as much on the process of middle school,” he says.  

Talk it through.

Once the admissions results come out, the final decision ultimately rests with the parents. But students who have some input in the choice may be more invested in their middle school success. “Kids do a great job of thinking about what feels right to them,” says Allisen. If your child isn’t very enthusiastic about contributing to the decision, try to engage them in considering the pros and cons of each school. Talk about unique resources like a makerspace or great soccer team that are relevant to your child’s school experience. If they are still resistant, it might be a sign of anxiety. “Kids also pick up on what we’re feeling, so think about what emotional tone you’re setting,” says Alexis. 

And… don’t forget to celebrate!

Choosing a middle school is exciting! “Middle school is such a formative time. It’s the stage in life where kids are really exploring their own identity and starting to do that more outside of the family context,” says Alexis. Parents can reassure children by reminding them how much they have already grown and accomplished and give them opportunities to experience more self-agency and independence in the leadup to middle school. 

Keep perspective.

Remember, the admissions process is not about judging your family. It is an opportunity to find an environment where your child can thrive and grow. “Trust the process,” Alexis advises. “Even if you end up at a different school from what you hoped or expected, families usually land in the right place.” 
 
 

A version of this article appeared on ParentMap.com in fall 2023.